Beauty and terror

“Let everything happen to you
 Beauty and terror
 Just keep going
 No feeling is final” 

Rainer Maria Rilke

I’m thinking about these words from Rilke as I navigate through this liminal space. One of those in-between places, the intermission between the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next. I’ve been waylaid from the path I was on, uncertain where I’ll land next. 

My instinctual reaction was to resist the change. I refused to relinquish control of how my life should unfold. I held onto outdated ideas and beliefs about what I should have achieved by now and what I should accomplish next. I buried myself with work, noise and distractions. I told myself I was burnt out, needed a vacation, or had to find “balance”, whatever that was. Anything to drown out my inner knowing, the quiet voice whispering in the undercurrent of a completely booked schedule that kept me distracted long enough I didn’t have to face the emptiness and existential dread.

I played the role as if I had the script and knew my lines. And that's how I lost myself. 

The more I resisted the change, the more I tried to force an outcome, the more stuck and stagnant I was. By refusing to accept that the life I was living no longer fit the person I was, the longer I held myself captive to a narrative that felt like a mask, a performance of a person the world told me to be.

We only get one chance at this life thing. There are no dress rehearsals, no do-overs. It can be difficult to admit when the life you aspired to falls short. We arrive, only to feel more lost than ever before. Letting go of who you once were and an identity you’ve outgrown can feel like defeat—and, to others, can astonishingly look like failure.

But what if the discomfort of changing wasn’t a cataclysmic end but a portal into new and exciting chapter? What if the thing we perceive as a failure isn’t something to avoid, but an opportunity to do things differently?

Because, it turns out, deviating from the path I was on wasn’t evidence my life was falling apart. Or, that a crazy lady was living inside my head. I was redirected from a path that wasn’t meant for me. Unfurling into a new and unfamiliar way of being. It wasn’t what I thought I wanted, but it turned out to be everything I didn’t know I needed.

The liminal space I’ve been in for the past few years has been daunting to navigate. It’s the land of unknowing, undoing, the betwixt and between. Rather than resist it, I’ve decided to embrace it. Despite what my own ambition, drive or anxiety wants me to believe, I’ve come to realize there really is nowhere else to be but here. 

Sometimes we’re eager to hurry through the lulls and detours and go straight to the Good Part, in stories and in life. But maybe the digression is the good part. Maybe, as Alan Watts put it, we miss the point the whole way along: to sing or to dance while the music was being played. Sometimes all we can do is surrender, and allow life to rearrange us into new and better ways.

I stood at the precipice and jumped headfirst and heart wide open into the infinite abyss of possibilities. I’ll wander and get lost in the beauty and terror along the way. And I’ll remember that no feeling is final. 

Blog Post Title Two

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Three

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.